Christmas for clergy

All right, because my brother-in-law told me to "check my blog" (on which, as far as I can tell, he has yet to comment) here it goes ...

Christmas for clergy is not quite the festive experience that it is for everyone else. Hours of musical practice, concerts and parties, extra events in worship services (that always complicate my fragile sense of order), and special meetings -- combined with the so-called "normal" ministry schedule -- threaten to transform me into a Grinch, or at least a Scrooge. "Oh when will it end?" my shriveled heart whines.

I remember my first post-Christmas as a pastor. I suffered my first anxiety attack immediately after all the celebration was done and all the guests went home. I was in my office by myself and the world crashed down. I felt like I was losing my mind as overwhelming loneliness and despair suffocated my spirit. Thankfully, I had on hand a book about dealing with depression and other side-effects to ministry, and the author assured me that my experience was normal. I wasn't losing my mind; an anxiety attack following a major event like Advent/Christmas and a large family gathering is to be expected. Sort of like a hangover.

Sheesh. I thought it was going to be easier than this. But then again, where in the world did I get that stupid idea? The Manger quickly becomes a Cross; Bethlehem is transformed into Golgotha. Perhaps I need to grow up a little more.